The Three of Us.

Now, this is not about cheating but it comes close. I was asked why it is I that men get easily distracted by other females (assuming the men in question already had women in their lives). In my personal opinion society is to blame for everything that ever went wrong. ANYWHERE. Here is why. Being born a man comes with certain unspoken, unwritten rules that you have to follow, the same as being born a woman. Some of these rules include that men are expected to initiate romantic exchanges of any kind. If you like a girl or if that girl likes you for that matter you’re expected to make the first move, say hi, ask for her number, etc. The entire process of courtship begins with you, so that being said boys are basically trained to shoot their shot no matter what and if they miss they just pick the ball up and shoot again, rinse and repeat.

Every woman we meet that is physically attractive becomes a potential “mate”. It’s not like she would walk up to you and tell you if she liked you, right? So you essentially have to think every woman might like you and it is your responsibility to chat them up and find out if they do or not. It’s crude and “what the fuck”-ish especially to any women reading this but in essence that’s how it works (of course there are the outliers, women that take initiative, women that go for what they want. But that isn’t the norm, women generally don’t take the first step in the pursuit of a mate/partner).

Alright, so we now know men chase and women get chased. Men have to accept the possibility of being rejected, it comes with the job. Women, on the other hand, are never expected to take the risk and as such the idea of rejection is foreign to a lot of women out there. A lot of the women I’ve personally spoken to have made it very clear that approaching a guy is out the question, she would rather wait for him to do it or miss out on the opportunity altogether. On the subject at hand, a woman’s pride is way more fragile than that of a man’s (this of course in no way includes the twisted fucks that attack women that reject them. Like what the hell dude? What the actual fuck? In any case I'm working up to something, bear with me).

So having lived most of your life essentially on the lookout for a mate it becomes a little difficult to turn it off, but in no way impossible, beautiful women are always gonna turn the heads of men. It’s like some animal instinct, we could really boil this down to a science I’m sure, but I presently do not possess the necessary degrees to do so, so we’ll move on instead. Women, new attractive women, will always catch the attention of a man, any man. Now I’m not using some universal standard of beauty no, I am talking about this supposed man running into a woman that fits his own personal preferences on beauty. He will for a certainty notice, any man that denies is a blatant liar and is not to be trusted. Talking about “I only see you baby” like no dude, don’t lie, are you somehow blind when out of her presence? But I digress. The noticing is not the issue it is the acting on the impulse that’s the true test. It’s like walking past a bakery, you will smell the treats but that doesn’t mean walk in and make a purchase.

The best toys are new toys. But sometimes the crying baby doesn’t want the new toy, it wants the teddy it’s come to know and love.

So, in essence, he will see other girls and not only that but he will also like what he sees but if the man is for you he will keep it moving and make nothing of it. His feelings for you are what will stop him from making something of it. The more you mean to him the less of a risk he is willing to take that might result in him losing you.

Men are selfish in the sense that we have somehow managed to separate any emotional attachments that might come with sex, meaning having someone you care deeply for and still managing to screw someone else. but this form of thinking goes straight out the window when it’s the supposed person he cares deeply for that had sex with someone else. 

The society we lived in made it out to be that a woman’s decency was directly linked to how many men she has been with or is presently with at the moment, basically the fewer the better. But no such rules applied to men, it might even have been the opposite. And since it is the man’s duty to chase/hunt it basically turned a blind eye when the man becomes a glutton.

Being an adult means acknowledging the parts of yourself that are holding you back and learning and unlearning as you go. The trick is not to understand why it is guys are so hung up on the idea of sex and new girls but to find a guy that’s hung up on you and just you.